Ok, this is just a more detailed "profile" if interested.
I learned about the Baha'i Faith at age 13, declared at 15. As a family (Mom, Dad, Me, younger Brother) we moved around a lot (in the San Fransisco, CA area) so I grew up as the perpetual "new kid". So, as a result, I became frustrated & insecure...which led to rebelliousness...which led to becoming a High School dropout, drugs, and leaving home...which led to joining the Army. Which is where my story truly begins.
Now, just for the record, my parents were, and still are, GREAT. Supportive, involved, and loving. The problem was that I just never felt like I fit in. Always an "outsider looking in" (cliche'). But nobody escapes childhood unscathed and I have dealt with those issues long ago.
I joined the Army at 17 and was stationed in Hawaii for 3 years (yeah, I got lucky). And really grew up a lot in a short period of time. And it is so beautiful there. The people, the places, and the cultures are truly created from God's own hands. I was able to "see the world" while in the Army and visited other countries and experience other cultures. As an Infantryman we trained for war all the time but it never occurred to me that I could actually go to war. About 6 months after I was discharged, Desert Storm happened and some of the units from my base had been deployed. At that point I began to understand and appreciate the value of life and liberty.
I then moved back to California and settled in the
Napa Valley. Yet again was blessed to be able to live in such a cool & beautiful place. I also was blessed with the opportunity to return to my family as a man instead of a child. I worked, played, lived, loved, and laughed. But I still remained an inactive Baha'i. I still loved the Baha'i Faith, and still thought of myself as a Baha'i yet did nothing with it. But I was able to justify this by convincing myself that was
ok as long as I was a "good" person.
Then, after a bad breakup, I packed whatever belongings I could fit into my car and left California for "my destiny".
Ok, that is a bit over the top. Basically, my brother "J" and I spent 4 months, in my tiny car, traveling the southern U.S. without any plans or destination. We would drive until we saw a place or town that looked interesting and stayed until we felt like moving on. We finally chose to settle (ran out of money) in Orlando, Florida. We figured if its good enough for Mickey Mouse then its good enough for us.
Ok, we had relatives there that were kind enough to put us up until we got on our feet. Thanks y'all!
Well, we got jobs, an apartment, and made some friends, etc. Then...I met my wife "M". My life was forever changed. She was so beautiful, so charming, so much fun. She is the type of woman that lights up a room by merely walking into it. The 10 years we were married were full of ups and downs, but I would not trade any of it. She is originally from the Caribbean islands of Trinidad & Tobago. Her family welcomed me into their lives, from the very beginning of our relationship, with an openness and unconditional love that I had never experienced before or since. I will forever be in love with the Trinidadian peoples and culture because it is so unique, and full of life. I grew up with the ideal that America was the world's "melting pot". I have come to realize that the U.S. is more like a mosaic of peoples and cultures living side-by-side, merging but rarely melting. Trinidad is truly a "melting" of peoples and cultures from African, Indian, Anglo (British), Middle Eastern, Chinese, etc. to form a new, unique, and unified culture. I can't speak on authority about the rest of the Caribbean, but I have no doubt its the same. As a Baha'i and a true believer in "One Planet, One People" it is an inspiration.
As I imagine you have gathered by now, "M" and I are no longer together. We are friends, and we ended our marriage amicably. I have learned so very much about life, love, and myself from knowing her and her wonderful family. But our personalities were, simply, just too different. And when two people...are too different...for too long, well...you get what I mean.
There are so many things I cherish from my experiences with "M" and her family. We were fortunate to be able to travel a lot. In the U.S., Hawaii,
Puerto Rico and all over the Caribbean and Mexico. I was lucky enough to experience Trinidad's Carnival. For those who don't know: New Orleans Carnival is famous for its drunkenness, Brazil's is famous for its nudity, and Trinidad's is famous for its music and costumes. If you ever get the chance, GO! but bring LOTS of sunscreen if you are fair-skinned (I learned the hard way). :D
But what I am most thankful for is the insight I gained from being in a loving, long-term interracial relationship. I know that a lot of I.R. couples have/had difficult experiences of prejudice and hate. But, thankfully, we never had to deal with any of that. I realise that my positive experience is a direct result of all that have come before me that have sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears to fight racial injustice. We all must continue the struggle everyday to continue moving forward racial/global unity.
I am also a kidney transplant recipient. I realised my kidneys started failing soon after "M" and I were married. It was a very slow process, but eventually my kidneys failed. I was on Dialysis for nearly 3 years and then my brother "J" donated one of his kidneys to be transplanted into me. It was a tremendous sacrifice for him, his wife, my parents, and everyone else who helped us through it. It is now 3+ years and my kidney is working great. The numerous pills that I must take each day to prevent my kidney from failing is a daily reminder of their sacrifices.
Foe those who got through this, thanks for your patience. Now that that is done, I can get on with more interesting (I hope) topics.
